Monday 17 October 2011

Roses

Made with a forty year old russian lens, on a digital body

Saturday 15 October 2011

An internal and external log of a more or less typical morning meditation session, slightly shortened and censored

An internal and external log of a more or less typical morning meditation session, slightly shortened and censored

She swishes around in the house, makes tea, goes into the garden to check on the tomatoes and the chard and the weather, she comes back into the house. Once I’ve finished this cup of tea it’s time to sit for my 20 minute meditation. This is going to be good today, I feel it! - There is no good or bad meditation, Andrea, it’s just doing it or not doing it.  - Ah, ja, I know that, brain, thanks! She drinks her tea, washes a few dishes and plays with the cat. She takes a quick look to see if emails have come in during the last seven minutes or so.  Now then, let’s go. She sits down on her spot, realizes that she has already a pair of jeans on, too uncomfortable, gets up and changes into a pair of tracksuit bottoms. She sits down again and closes her eyes................................................. I wonder if I will get the course in the college, they still haven’t answered. Shall I email them again? Would that seem pushy? - Not now, Andrea, we deal with that later. Now gently get back, let go.
She shuffles her butt, to get into a more comfortable position. I wonder if I have lost a bit of weight during the last few days, that would be so cool! I can go and get new pair of jeans. Maybe a black one? -  Maybe. Anyway, we are going to deal with that later, ok? Now, just get into the now. She takes a few deep long breaths, settles down. Ah, the presence, the awareness, the quietness...ommmmmmmmmmmmmm................................... I want to go to Aldi and get a few of these delicious toffee desserts that I had last week.  – Yes  Andrea, that would be great, later.

She breathes, feels her sitting bones, her legs and feet connected to the floor, it is getting quiet inside........... Beautiful, even breath.................................... ............I have a weird feeling in the tummy today, I wonder if I... - ssshhhh! She sits, she breathes, and nothing else. Time passes in quietness, witnessed by a quiet, relaxed mind................................ Oh man, I am getting really good at this! Finally! - Ssshhh, no you are not! Shut up already! –I am not supposed to talk to I in that tone! What kind of yogini am I anyway??  Shouldn’t all this go much better? Why is this taking so long? – Can you pretty please kindly shut up now, brain, mind, memory? Breath........ silence..................... tranquillity..................... emptiness................ Outside, a house alarm goes off. I am not affected by this, I am just letting it go past me. The gentle flow of the breath, the gentle flow of ...................time....................................................................................................................................






Yes, I wonder how much time actually has passed? -  shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........................................................................................................................................................................................... In autunm the house alarms go off all the time because of the wind......And the kids have started with their horrible fireworks. So annoying! – Yes, that is right but just let go for now, there..................................................... ..............The ringtone goes on, to announce the end of the meditation practice. Oh, already! I feel like I could sit here forever. Isn’t that odd? She slowly opens her eyes, switches off the bell, gets up and is very mellow indeed. At least, for the next hour or so.



Hahahaha